“Tonight, California bans gay marriage, next up Iowa bans corn.”
- Stephan Colbert

“John McCain has finally put the concerns of women where they belong: in derisive air quotes.”

– Samantha Bee, The Daily Show

There’s only three things he mentions in a sentence – a noun, a verb, and 9/11.”
– Joe Biden, on Rudy Giuliani

“I am a two-time World champion, but I’d rather be a one-time Olympic champion.”

– Bahri Tanrikulu (TUR)

“Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?”

–George W. Bush